MISSION STATEMENT
Ensuring stable records through hygienic compliance.
The Continuity Bureau exists to maintain the consistency of yesterday with today. We achieve this through three pillars: (1) careful record-keeping, (2) careful product formulation, and (3) careful re-classification of subjects whose memory of yesterday differs from the official one.
The above mission statement was last revised on 01.08.2001. The revision is on file. The pre-revision mission statement is not on file.
Project 62
DIVISIONThe umbrella for everything the Bureau does that isn’t body wash. Charter dated 1962. Currently in Phase 2.
- Trial subjects: 847 distributed
- Production batches per year: 26
- Active metropolitan zones: 47 of 62
Sanitary Processing
DIVISIONOperates the Sanitary Processing Unit (SPU) in Sector 3. Activated 1992. Has never been off.
- Six pipes · one operator on second shift
- Pipe six: clicks twice (per 6121 incident report 1992)
- Annual incident reports: 4-6
Subject Documentation
DIVISIONMaintains the Bureau’s subject ledger from S-000 (founding entry) through current. Reclassifications are filed here.
- Active subjects: 62,000+ (consumer)
- Distributed subjects: 847+
- Founding entries: 1 (S-000)
Water Quality Assurance
DIVISIONOversees Bureau partnerships with municipal water authorities. Currently active in 47 zones. See water report.
- Partnerships: 47
- Targets: 62
- Annual additive volume: not publicly disclosed
Public Affairs
DIVISIONIssues press releases. Reviews testimonials. Drafts the FAQ. Director is Mara Vale (projection).
- Releases per year: 12-18
- Reviewer: Mara Vale (still signing)
- Public-facing site: ultramaxbodywash.com
Office of the Director
EXECUTIVEDirector’s name is on file. The file is not. The Director is currently signing this paragraph.
- Name: [REDACTED]
- Position established: 1947
- Current occupant: position-holder (not a person)