THE ULTRAMAX STORE
Choose Your Level of Clean
⚠️ WARNING: Products may not actually exist
BUDGET OPTION
🧴
UltraMax Lite™
For Casual Cleaners
$149.99
$89.99
- ✅ 85% Effective
- ✅ Basic Confidence Boost (+200%)
- ❌ No Ghost Protection
- ✅ Lasts 30 Days
- ❌ No Time Travel
- ✅ Makes You Smell Okay
BEST SELLER!
🧴
UltraMax Original™
The Classic
$199.99
$99.99
- ✅ 99.9% Effective
- ✅ Confidence Boost (+847%)
- ✅ Ghost Repellent Included
- ✅ Lasts Forever*
- ✅ Fixes Your Life**
- ✅ Makes You Awesome
*30 days **not guaranteed
PRO
🧴
UltraMax Pro™
For Serious Cleaners
$399.99
$199.99
- ✅ 150% Effective (Yes, Really)
- ✅ Mega Confidence (+1500%)
- ✅ Repels Ghosts & Vampires
- ✅ Never Runs Out
- ✅ Grants Wishes (3 per bottle)
- ✅ Comes With Certificate
🔥 ULTIMATE 🔥
💎
UltraMax ULTIMATE EXTREME™
THE FINAL BOSS OF SOAP
$999.99
$499.99
- ✅ ∞% Effective (Literally Infinite)
- ✅ Confidence: UNLIMITED POWER
- ✅ Repels Everything Bad
- ✅ Lasts 1000 Years
- ✅ Time Travel Enabled
- ✅ Solves World Problems
- ✅ Gives You Superpowers
- ✅ Free Lifetime Supply*
*Of this one bottle
💎 PREMIUM ADD-ONS
🏆
Platinum Membership
$299/yr
- ✅ Exclusive Nothing
- ✅ Special Emails
- ✅ Bragging Rights
📦
Mystery Box
$49.99
- ❓ Unknown Contents
- ❓ Possibly Empty
- ✅ Definitely a Box
🎓
PhD in Cleanliness
$999
- ✅ Official Certificate
- ✅ Not Accredited
- ✅ Impressive Looking
Ready to Checkout?
Just kidding! This is a parody shop. Nothing is real!