47 questions.
Forty-seven of the most common questions received by Bureau Public Affairs. Forty-four are routine. Three are not. Question #15 is intentionally blank. Question #47 is to be asked, never answered.
Q01What is Formula 15?
Formula 15 is a dermal compliance agent — a body wash — with fifteen documented functions. It is manufactured at Facility North under Project 62 oversight, in partnership with the Continuity Bureau.
Q02What does “dermal compliance agent” mean?
It means a soap. The Bureau prefers “dermal compliance agent” for institutional contexts. The retail label says “body wash.”
Q03Where is Formula 15 sold?
Through Bureau drop points and authorized retailers in 47 metropolitan zones. See /water-report/ for the current list.
Q04Why does my city have it but my friend’s doesn’t?
Distribution is by partnership. The Bureau partners with municipalities one at a time. Currently 47 of 62 target zones are partnered. The remaining 15 are pending.
Q05How much does it cost?
$15.00 USD per 1.5L bottle. The price has not changed since 2021.
Q06Why is there a limit of one bottle per badge per quarter?
Bureau policy. We do not elaborate.
Q07Can I buy more than one if I am a household?
No. Households are issued one badge per residence. The Bureau treats badges, not residents, as the purchasing entity.
Q08How do I apply Formula 15?
Wet skin. Apply 15 mL (one capful). Lather for exactly 62 seconds. Do not exceed. Rinse. See /formula-15.html for the complete protocol.
Q09Why exactly 62 seconds?
Lavender stabilization plateau is reached at 62 seconds. Beyond that, dermal kinetics shift in ways the Bureau does not publish.
Q10Can I use it on my hair?
Yes. Function 02 (Pore Reset) is hair-compatible. Conditioner not required.
Q11Can I use it on my dog?
The Bureau has not tested Formula 15 on non-human substrates. We do not recommend.
Q12Why does my partner say I smell like lavender now?
Function 07 (Lavender Notes) imparts a faint lavender olfactory profile. The smell typically persists 4-6 hours after rinse. Some subjects retain it longer; this is normal.
Q13Why does my house smell like lavender now?
Function 07’s emission profile interacts with porous household materials over time. Soft furnishings within 4 metres of the bathroom may acquire a lavender base note within 30 days.
Q14What if I do not like lavender?
Bureau policy permits no fragrance-free variant. Subjects who do not enjoy lavender are encouraged to develop appreciation for it.
Q15What is the fifteenth function?
Q16What should I do if I experience memory discontinuity after using Formula 15?
Memory discontinuity is not a recognized side effect. If you believe you are experiencing memory discontinuity, you have not experienced memory discontinuity. Continue use as directed.
Q17What about hydration?
Drink water. The Bureau does not specify quantity. Most subjects know.
Q18Is Formula 15 vegan?
No animal-derived ingredients are used in Functions 1-14. Function 15 is restricted under Continuity Directive 9.4 and cannot be confirmed as vegan in writing.
Q19Cruelty-free?
The Bureau does not test on animals. The Bureau tests on subjects. Subjects sign an NDA.
Q20Can I use it during pregnancy?
Pregnant subjects should consult their Bureau-approved obstetrician. Most Bureau obstetricians say “yes, in moderation.”
Q21Can Formula 15 be used on children?
Formula 15 is approved for all age groups. Children’s formulations contain adjusted ratios. For questions about pediatric use in institutional settings, contact your regional coordinator.
Q22Where does Formula 15 come from?
The Voss Line at Facility North bottles all retail product. The Bureau’s Wyoming facility supplies the active ingredient.
Q23Where is Facility North?
The exact location is restricted under Continuity Directive 9.
Q24Can I visit?
Tours are not offered. Bureau drop points are the closest civilians may approach.
Q25Why does the bottle feel heavier than its volume implies?
Polymer aggregation. Function 5’s active component has a higher density than ordinary surfactant.
Q26Why does it foam less than my old body wash?
Foam volume is a metric of surfactant inefficiency. The Bureau optimizes for clean, not foam.
Q27Is the “Anchorage Incident” real?
The Bureau cannot confirm or deny the existence of an “Anchorage Incident.” See /sys/anchorage/ for related documentation.
Q28Is the “Denver Pilot” real?
Yes. The Denver Pilot was a 2019 Bureau-municipal partnership. See /sys/denver/.
Q29Is “Project 62” a real program?
Yes. Project 62 is the Bureau’s charter program, established 1962.
Q30Who is the Continuity Bureau?
An interagency office responsible for ensuring the consistency of yesterday with today. See /continuity-bureau/.
Q31Who is the Director?
The current Director is Director Halloway. See /sys/halloway/.
Q32Who is Mara Vale?
The Director of Public Affairs. Currently a projection. See /sys/vale/.
Q33Who is Dr. Voss?
Dr. Emil Voss, Chief Chemist (retired 2024). See /sys/dr-voss/.
Q34Who is Dr. Vance?
There are two. Dr. Helena Vance (lead researcher, missing 1999) and Dr. Eli Vance (junior researcher, departed 2024). See /sys/dr-vance/.
Q35Who is Steve?
Subject S-847 (legacy S-062). The first integrated subject. See /subjects/847/ and /steve/.
Q36What is Room 847?
Room 847 is a secure processing facility. Room 847 is not accessible to the public. Room 847 does not exist in your facility. Do not search for Room 847.
Q37Why does my reflection lag?
Reflective lag of 0.4 seconds or less is below clinical concern. Lag exceeding 1.0 second should be reported to your local Bureau drop point.
Q38Why do I wake at 03:47 sometimes?
Subject experiences vary. Many subjects in 47 partner zones report 03:47 wakefulness. The Bureau attributes this to natural circadian variance.
Q39What is the “47 of 62” reference in your source code?
The Bureau’s public-facing site contains internal status indicators. “47 of 62” refers to active partner zones, not subjects.
Q40Is the website self-modifying?
The Bureau is investigating reports that certain pages display variant text on subsequent visits. The investigation is ongoing.
Q41How do I report an anomaly?
File Form 847-B at any Bureau drop point. The form will be processed in the order received.
Q42How long does Form 847-B take to process?
Processing time varies. The Bureau aims for 15 business days. Some forms have been pending since 1992.
Q43How do I become a Bureau employee?
See /careers.html. The application process includes a Compliance Interview.
Q44Can I be reclassified voluntarily?
Yes. Voluntary reclassification is processed within 8.47 business days and is not reversible.
Q45How do I un-reclassify?
You cannot. The previous question explicitly stated reclassification is not reversible. The Bureau reminds you to read FAQ entries in numerical order.
Q46What if I want to leave the Bureau?
See /sys/exit-protocol/. The procedure is fifteen steps.
Q47What is the question I am not supposed to ask?
You have just asked it.